Saturday, May 14, 2011
A New Blog
Hey all!!! My new blog is http://wonderfullybeautifulyou.blogspot.com . I added this for some of my newest posts/thoughts. Hope you enjoy it!!! Thanks!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Operation Africa
So I'm working on going through Operation World..... starting from the beginning and daily reading about countries with my Bible nearby. Today was part 3 of a week on Africa. It went through the "Trends to Watch" in Africa. Now, I love Africa. Been there, left a chunk of my heart there, and the rest of my heart is wrapped in an African blanket. But it is so sad when I'm reading. Lately, my trip to Africa has been on my heart. I've struggled with lately with the rather bad and selfish attitude I had when I was there. Granted, I had only accepted Christ 2 short years before going and was still growing and learning (and still am) but I can definitely say there has been more maturing in the last year of my life than there was those first 2 years. Africa just sticks in my heart. I wanted to share what I wrote this morning as a reflection from reading through trends in Africa... and partly a reflection of the past few weeks of Perspectives and some things that were said recently about a trip to Kenya taken by some friends of mine.
There is so much that we could do but so little that has been done by us. There is so much that we, as "rich Americans", Christians and non, so much we can do so why don't we do it? We live "lavish" lifestyles here even though society says some of us are "poor". We have medical needs that are met instantly if needed. Education on EVERYTHING is so readily available and we have a "stable" government that is TECHNICALLY not stealing from its people... at least not stealing and taking advantage of its people the way some of the governments in other countries do. We are blessed and by the "world's standards" we are free.
Man, do we take advantage of that in innocent, selfish ways. I say innocent because we don't know what it is like to be truly "poor" with political corruption, HIV/AIDS/Malaria running rampant. On average, malaria takes the lives of one child every THIRTY SECONDS. Innocent because of the "religious freedom" any way you can have it. I say innocent because for the most part it is how we are raised, brought up, and taught in our culture and therefore we don't necessarily know any better and we don't always recognize it. I know I didn't. God is showing me so much NOW from a trip to Africa that I took almost two years ago. I say selfish because we are. There is enough food available to feed every single person on the face of this planet 4.3 POUNDS of food every day, and yet there are still elderly, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews.... babies.... dying of hunger every single day. More than 25,000 people die DAILY from starvation. Selfish because we could do so much and yet we do so little.
Open my eyes Lord. What can I do? Take care of the poor, impoverished people that we ignore until you open our eyes to do more. Open our hearts to shatter the "social stigma" associated with AIDs and HIVand tell the world how to take care. Provide a was for us to care for malaria ridden countries and countries corrupted by the love of power and money. Raise up people to start a revolution, laborers to work for your glory in the corrupted politics in Africa. Only you, God, can work the hearts of the "advantaged" to go and work for you good in the "disadvantaged". Sustain and strengthen them daily. Keep them safe and reach out to those who need you as a shelter. Work out your will for those people in need. What CAN I do? More than I can probably even imagine. What WILL I do? On my own, nothing. With God, whatever He wants me to do because He can do anything and everything for anyone. I pray for humility. I pray that we, as a selfish and rich country, humble ourselves. If we don't, then the truth is, God will humble us in one way or another.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Heart Check - Matthew 6:21
"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." ~*Matthew 6:21 (NLT)*~
What is it that consumes my life? What drives my mind, sustains my soul, motivates my heart, and controls my every belief, though, emotion, and action? What am I living for? What am I working toward? What goal am I running after? What fuels and drives me? What is the purpose of life? What am I doing with my life? What do I want to do with my life? In the eyes of those around me, how am I living my life? How do my motives, words, and actions affect those around me? Am I doing everything in my power to live a biblical, obedient life to God? Do I allow what people say to me affect me? Is it worth getting upset, excited, or down about?
Overwhelmed yet? (or maybe just bored... I don't know)
A word of warning: those of you who know me pretty well will know I enjoy brutal honesty and tough love and I have no problem dishing it out from time to time. Don't worry, I do this to myself before I even BEGIN to type or even think about posting such things. I'm moved to share some of my random, rambling thoughts with you and have debated on whether or not to do it, partly because I don't think people read these things and it's a waste of my time even putting it up here... but also because I don't want to offend anybody. Of course, I'm doing it so we'll see if it was a good idea or not. Please don't let any of what I write offend you and sorry this is ridiculously lengthy as usual. If you have some concern over what I say, let me know. It's pretty much all opinion...... from my heart.
All of this is written from a recent heart-check. I've been convicted and have called myself out on all of it (and am still doing so). It's all from the Holy Spirit convicting me on thoughts, emotions, and actions. We all need a reminder every now and then. We all need a heart-check. I've needed several and recently God has delivered them through some pretty difficult situations as well as some pretty small and unimportant happenings. I think you'll see what I mean and pray you understand my thoughts and convictions. I will admit this whole rambling of my thoughts just happened to occur with KU losing to K-State last night. My heart-check came when I realized how upset I was about something that should not be so significant to me. It came when I realized that I was upset about some form of entertainment not fulfilling my expectations for a day.
So what are some of the answers? The questions above have been racing through my mind all day... so I may have kept a journal throughout my work day today, jotting notes here and there in between approving art files for production. Matthew 6:21 is definitely the verse of the day for me. What is my heart set on? Are you set on Earth or Eternity? Do I have my heart set on higher things, greater and more important things than the things of this earth? I hope that I can say that my heart isn't set on a basketball game or a specific team or my job. I caught myself last night and I don't want my heart set on those things but sometimes we just get caught up in it all and I understand that. I refocused and that was the heart-check: My heart is set on God, his love for me and in me, and how that may affect those around me. This also just HAPPENED to be the devotional for February 15th in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It, of course, talked about being my brother's keeper, but more importantly how the way we act and speak to those around us affect them spiritually.
I have all of these thoughts and a few more that have come to the surface. Part of it is courtesy to the class I'm taking "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement." The rest of it is courtesy to Ol' KU and a basketball game, believe it or not. I wondered how the result of a game could affect me and realized how consumed we become in such small, irrelevant things in life. What is even more silly to me is how we are consumed by things that we have no real control over at all, such as the outcome of a college basketball game and how players play in that game. I thought about how much people trash talk each other and a team they really have nothing to do with.
I have to bite my tongue and 95% of the time I do a great job. That other 5% came out in a message to a friend pointing out why smack talk irritates me. To me it is a great thought though and may cause you to think a little bit as well. Ponder this: How much of the world would be evangelized if we spent as much energy and air on telling unreached people about Jesus as we do smack talking one another over something insignificant that we play no real part in? I'm calling myself out on this too so, really, please take no offense to it. If we had as much passion and energy spent on missions and evangelism as we do for cheering on "our team" or trash talking, how many unreached people groups would have been reached by now? Think about it. Isn't there some truth to that? It gets on my nerves sometimes how much passion we have towards sports/entertainment in our society. What would happen if we had that much passion for aids awareness in Africa or for putting an end to sex trafficking of young girls and woman in places like Thailand or India? Wouldn't that be awesome? Think about it. I know I have.
Then I also think about how we treat each other and the things we say to each other in regards to such unimportant things. How Biblical is that? We can find out by looking in Hebrews, Ephesians, James, and Proverbs pretty quickly. We don't have to look far into Hebrews to see how words give and take away life and how our tongue is sharp like a double-edged sword (ch 4 verses 12 & 13). We don't have to look far into Ephesians to see that we are only supposed to speak words that build up, not tear down (ch 4 verse 29). We can find how to tame our tongue in James (ch 3 verses 1-12). Proverbs also refers to words as swords, but also bringing healing (ch 12 verse 18). I'm nowhere near perfect, but honestly it's a great thing to think about.
I want to live my life the way God wants me to live (I hesitate to say the way God EXPECTS me to live). What does that look like? Pretty sure the Bible paints a pretty detailed and vivid picture through us. God send His son as a PAYMENT for the WRONGS that WE have done. How are we supposed to live? We are supposed to live how God wants us to live. We have this tendency, as humans, to try to make God the way we want God to be. A lot of us pray expected granted wishes. God isn't a wish granting genie, but He does answer prayers. They may not be answered the way we want them to be or how we expect them to be but that is the beauty and adventure of God. We wouldn't have to look far for the answers to many of our questions. A friend and I discussed a pretty cool thought: If there is a decision to be made, ask yourself what the Bible says. There is an answer in the Bible. There has always been an answer there, we just haven't always looked for it or we don't like what the Bible says because it doesn't say what we want it to say. It isn't possible for us to live perfectly but it is possible for us to follow Jesus and live with a purpose. It is possible to line our lives and purpose up with that of the Biblical truths that Jesus taught and gave to us. How do we know if something is "right" in God's eyes? Truthfully, we won't know until we meet Him face to face. I can't give you an answer but I can point you to the Word and you can seek it for yourself.
Are we living life with the purpose of following Christ? Will God take care of us? I've been asked lately what I want to do with my life. It didn't necessarily become a reality to me until my mentor mentioned something the last time I met with her. It set off alarms but also made my heart smile because the thought of it...... it is what I want to do with my life. BUT the question is, how do you tell your parents you want to be a missionary when you grow up? Who really does that? How do you expect them to react? I've wondered what I am doing with my life, why am I still in Manhattan, and what does God want me to do. I want to work for God. He is my boss. He is also my provider. What does that look like, to have God be the one in control of your life? I don't know. So far, I've seen Him open doors here in Manhattan. I haven't been able to get a job anywhere else even though I've applied for a ridiculous amount. I'm not even going to give you a number it is so ridiculous. The only opportunities have popped up in good old Manhattan, KS. God has planted roots for me here. I have a spiritual family and church community that I love. He's blown doors open for me to share Him with people at my job. Will life continue to look like this for me? Probably not but only God truly knows the answer to that question. I'm okay with that most days. He will take care of me and that is TRUTH (like the kind you find in the Bible).
Do you have your sights set on eternity or the short amount of time we spend here on earth? A good friend used the comparison of life to that of a vapor: one minute it's here, the next it's not. Life on earth is like a vapor compared to all of eternity. Do we set our sites on the beauty of our Lord and the life He offers or that of materialism here on earth? How are you living your life? What things have a hold on your heart? I pray for a heart check for all of us very often. Is your living lining up with what God defines as obedience in the Bible? I answered "for the most part I guess". If your answer is similar, check your heart to see what is keeping you from following completely. (FYI: just because it is in the Bible doesn't mean it is easy. It will be quite difficult but definitely worth it).
My prayer is that God does a number on each of our hearts, that the Holy Spirit moves in us and convicts us to reprioritize our lives.
Where did you bury your treasure? That's where your heart is going to be. Think about it.
What is it that consumes my life? What drives my mind, sustains my soul, motivates my heart, and controls my every belief, though, emotion, and action? What am I living for? What am I working toward? What goal am I running after? What fuels and drives me? What is the purpose of life? What am I doing with my life? What do I want to do with my life? In the eyes of those around me, how am I living my life? How do my motives, words, and actions affect those around me? Am I doing everything in my power to live a biblical, obedient life to God? Do I allow what people say to me affect me? Is it worth getting upset, excited, or down about?
Overwhelmed yet? (or maybe just bored... I don't know)
A word of warning: those of you who know me pretty well will know I enjoy brutal honesty and tough love and I have no problem dishing it out from time to time. Don't worry, I do this to myself before I even BEGIN to type or even think about posting such things. I'm moved to share some of my random, rambling thoughts with you and have debated on whether or not to do it, partly because I don't think people read these things and it's a waste of my time even putting it up here... but also because I don't want to offend anybody. Of course, I'm doing it so we'll see if it was a good idea or not. Please don't let any of what I write offend you and sorry this is ridiculously lengthy as usual. If you have some concern over what I say, let me know. It's pretty much all opinion...... from my heart.
All of this is written from a recent heart-check. I've been convicted and have called myself out on all of it (and am still doing so). It's all from the Holy Spirit convicting me on thoughts, emotions, and actions. We all need a reminder every now and then. We all need a heart-check. I've needed several and recently God has delivered them through some pretty difficult situations as well as some pretty small and unimportant happenings. I think you'll see what I mean and pray you understand my thoughts and convictions. I will admit this whole rambling of my thoughts just happened to occur with KU losing to K-State last night. My heart-check came when I realized how upset I was about something that should not be so significant to me. It came when I realized that I was upset about some form of entertainment not fulfilling my expectations for a day.
So what are some of the answers? The questions above have been racing through my mind all day... so I may have kept a journal throughout my work day today, jotting notes here and there in between approving art files for production. Matthew 6:21 is definitely the verse of the day for me. What is my heart set on? Are you set on Earth or Eternity? Do I have my heart set on higher things, greater and more important things than the things of this earth? I hope that I can say that my heart isn't set on a basketball game or a specific team or my job. I caught myself last night and I don't want my heart set on those things but sometimes we just get caught up in it all and I understand that. I refocused and that was the heart-check: My heart is set on God, his love for me and in me, and how that may affect those around me. This also just HAPPENED to be the devotional for February 15th in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It, of course, talked about being my brother's keeper, but more importantly how the way we act and speak to those around us affect them spiritually.
I have all of these thoughts and a few more that have come to the surface. Part of it is courtesy to the class I'm taking "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement." The rest of it is courtesy to Ol' KU and a basketball game, believe it or not. I wondered how the result of a game could affect me and realized how consumed we become in such small, irrelevant things in life. What is even more silly to me is how we are consumed by things that we have no real control over at all, such as the outcome of a college basketball game and how players play in that game. I thought about how much people trash talk each other and a team they really have nothing to do with.
I have to bite my tongue and 95% of the time I do a great job. That other 5% came out in a message to a friend pointing out why smack talk irritates me. To me it is a great thought though and may cause you to think a little bit as well. Ponder this: How much of the world would be evangelized if we spent as much energy and air on telling unreached people about Jesus as we do smack talking one another over something insignificant that we play no real part in? I'm calling myself out on this too so, really, please take no offense to it. If we had as much passion and energy spent on missions and evangelism as we do for cheering on "our team" or trash talking, how many unreached people groups would have been reached by now? Think about it. Isn't there some truth to that? It gets on my nerves sometimes how much passion we have towards sports/entertainment in our society. What would happen if we had that much passion for aids awareness in Africa or for putting an end to sex trafficking of young girls and woman in places like Thailand or India? Wouldn't that be awesome? Think about it. I know I have.
Then I also think about how we treat each other and the things we say to each other in regards to such unimportant things. How Biblical is that? We can find out by looking in Hebrews, Ephesians, James, and Proverbs pretty quickly. We don't have to look far into Hebrews to see how words give and take away life and how our tongue is sharp like a double-edged sword (ch 4 verses 12 & 13). We don't have to look far into Ephesians to see that we are only supposed to speak words that build up, not tear down (ch 4 verse 29). We can find how to tame our tongue in James (ch 3 verses 1-12). Proverbs also refers to words as swords, but also bringing healing (ch 12 verse 18). I'm nowhere near perfect, but honestly it's a great thing to think about.
I want to live my life the way God wants me to live (I hesitate to say the way God EXPECTS me to live). What does that look like? Pretty sure the Bible paints a pretty detailed and vivid picture through us. God send His son as a PAYMENT for the WRONGS that WE have done. How are we supposed to live? We are supposed to live how God wants us to live. We have this tendency, as humans, to try to make God the way we want God to be. A lot of us pray expected granted wishes. God isn't a wish granting genie, but He does answer prayers. They may not be answered the way we want them to be or how we expect them to be but that is the beauty and adventure of God. We wouldn't have to look far for the answers to many of our questions. A friend and I discussed a pretty cool thought: If there is a decision to be made, ask yourself what the Bible says. There is an answer in the Bible. There has always been an answer there, we just haven't always looked for it or we don't like what the Bible says because it doesn't say what we want it to say. It isn't possible for us to live perfectly but it is possible for us to follow Jesus and live with a purpose. It is possible to line our lives and purpose up with that of the Biblical truths that Jesus taught and gave to us. How do we know if something is "right" in God's eyes? Truthfully, we won't know until we meet Him face to face. I can't give you an answer but I can point you to the Word and you can seek it for yourself.
Are we living life with the purpose of following Christ? Will God take care of us? I've been asked lately what I want to do with my life. It didn't necessarily become a reality to me until my mentor mentioned something the last time I met with her. It set off alarms but also made my heart smile because the thought of it...... it is what I want to do with my life. BUT the question is, how do you tell your parents you want to be a missionary when you grow up? Who really does that? How do you expect them to react? I've wondered what I am doing with my life, why am I still in Manhattan, and what does God want me to do. I want to work for God. He is my boss. He is also my provider. What does that look like, to have God be the one in control of your life? I don't know. So far, I've seen Him open doors here in Manhattan. I haven't been able to get a job anywhere else even though I've applied for a ridiculous amount. I'm not even going to give you a number it is so ridiculous. The only opportunities have popped up in good old Manhattan, KS. God has planted roots for me here. I have a spiritual family and church community that I love. He's blown doors open for me to share Him with people at my job. Will life continue to look like this for me? Probably not but only God truly knows the answer to that question. I'm okay with that most days. He will take care of me and that is TRUTH (like the kind you find in the Bible).
Do you have your sights set on eternity or the short amount of time we spend here on earth? A good friend used the comparison of life to that of a vapor: one minute it's here, the next it's not. Life on earth is like a vapor compared to all of eternity. Do we set our sites on the beauty of our Lord and the life He offers or that of materialism here on earth? How are you living your life? What things have a hold on your heart? I pray for a heart check for all of us very often. Is your living lining up with what God defines as obedience in the Bible? I answered "for the most part I guess". If your answer is similar, check your heart to see what is keeping you from following completely. (FYI: just because it is in the Bible doesn't mean it is easy. It will be quite difficult but definitely worth it).
My prayer is that God does a number on each of our hearts, that the Holy Spirit moves in us and convicts us to reprioritize our lives.
Where did you bury your treasure? That's where your heart is going to be. Think about it.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
"More Like Falling in Love"
I absolutely L-O-V-E this song and the message the Jason Gray sends to listeners. The message in the song is so much truth it is amazing!!!
More Like Falling in Love
By: Jason Gray
Give me rules, I will break them
Show me lines, I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling in love
Give me words, I'll misuse them
Obligations, I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinnger with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling in
Love, Love, Love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling
In love
It's like I'm falling
I'm falling love
It's like I'm falling
In love
More Like Falling in Love
By: Jason Gray
Give me rules, I will break them
Show me lines, I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling in love
Give me words, I'll misuse them
Obligations, I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinnger with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling in
Love, Love, Love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, Ohhhh
It's like I'm falling
In love
It's like I'm falling
I'm falling love
It's like I'm falling
In love
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Fuel
What fuels you? I sometimes ask myself and wonder where I find the energy and strength I have to keep going. Sometimes I question where it all comes from, as I know it isn't something that comes from me. It comes from something more. Something more powerful fuels me.
Today I had a lot of time to think. We are really slow at work so I currently have a three day work week and a four day weekend which gives me a lot of time to think and ponder questions like the one above (and yes you read that correctly--a FOUR DAY WEEKEND). It snowed a lot yesterday and frankly our apartment complex takes thier time shoveling off the snow and they don't do the greatest job clearing the parking lot. I didn't have much to do so I decided I'd go shovel out some of the parking spots for my roommate, myself, and our neighbor. For three hours I shoveled snow for the neighbors (I ended up doing more like seven spots, not just our three). I had time to think about what fuels me and, in addition, thought about yet another question: why was I doing what I was doing when nobody even asked me to do it in the first place?
Thoughts were beginning to fly through my head about God and Jesus and love and the Cross. I was beginning to think about how I somewhat ENJOYED doing this for others. I ENJOYED serving them without somebody having to ask me to do it. I was somewhat finding JOY in something I would have complained about, and probably would not have done, just a few years ago.
It's God who fuels me. It's the blessing God has given me and what I'm doing with them in my life. It's love that keeps me going, God's love for me that is. It's Christ dying on a cross for all of mankind, so that we all may know His Father in Heaven. That fuels me. Dying on a cross is a lot harder to do than shoveling snow is, at least in my mind. Christ said to pick up our cross and follow Him -- a promise of salvation even through suffering, no matter how hard it may be. I am blessed with a "young, vibrant, and able" body and spirit, even if I don't always feel young (like right now and probably most of tomorrow). I am blessed with the health do do what I get to do. I am blessed by God in order that I may be a blessing for others. I am a child of God which adds a bit extra fuel to the flame. I am blessed with ample amounts of time on my hands, so why not use that to serve others? That small action may mean more than I know to a single mother of three, a family of a military man who is deployed, working college students or somebody who may not be as able bodied as I am. God blessed me more than I can count. God sent his son to live as a man so that He could die for all of mankind. Christ came so that He could glorify God his Father and so that all people may know our Father in Heaven and how much He loves us. How am I using my blessings to glorify God above anything else I do? How am I using God's fuel to live every single day? God is my fuel, providing more than I could have or ever even imagine having on my own. God's love and promises of life and salvation fuels me; those are things I cannot do or attain on my own. The heart to serve others fuels me. It comes from a Master who commands obedience, holiness because He is holy, from a Prince who came to SERVE NOT TO BE SERVED. I am fueled by love for a King who was born of flesh into a world of sin in order that He would die to save and make God (and his love for the world) known. I am fueled by God.
What fuels you?
Today I had a lot of time to think. We are really slow at work so I currently have a three day work week and a four day weekend which gives me a lot of time to think and ponder questions like the one above (and yes you read that correctly--a FOUR DAY WEEKEND). It snowed a lot yesterday and frankly our apartment complex takes thier time shoveling off the snow and they don't do the greatest job clearing the parking lot. I didn't have much to do so I decided I'd go shovel out some of the parking spots for my roommate, myself, and our neighbor. For three hours I shoveled snow for the neighbors (I ended up doing more like seven spots, not just our three). I had time to think about what fuels me and, in addition, thought about yet another question: why was I doing what I was doing when nobody even asked me to do it in the first place?
Thoughts were beginning to fly through my head about God and Jesus and love and the Cross. I was beginning to think about how I somewhat ENJOYED doing this for others. I ENJOYED serving them without somebody having to ask me to do it. I was somewhat finding JOY in something I would have complained about, and probably would not have done, just a few years ago.
It's God who fuels me. It's the blessing God has given me and what I'm doing with them in my life. It's love that keeps me going, God's love for me that is. It's Christ dying on a cross for all of mankind, so that we all may know His Father in Heaven. That fuels me. Dying on a cross is a lot harder to do than shoveling snow is, at least in my mind. Christ said to pick up our cross and follow Him -- a promise of salvation even through suffering, no matter how hard it may be. I am blessed with a "young, vibrant, and able" body and spirit, even if I don't always feel young (like right now and probably most of tomorrow). I am blessed with the health do do what I get to do. I am blessed by God in order that I may be a blessing for others. I am a child of God which adds a bit extra fuel to the flame. I am blessed with ample amounts of time on my hands, so why not use that to serve others? That small action may mean more than I know to a single mother of three, a family of a military man who is deployed, working college students or somebody who may not be as able bodied as I am. God blessed me more than I can count. God sent his son to live as a man so that He could die for all of mankind. Christ came so that He could glorify God his Father and so that all people may know our Father in Heaven and how much He loves us. How am I using my blessings to glorify God above anything else I do? How am I using God's fuel to live every single day? God is my fuel, providing more than I could have or ever even imagine having on my own. God's love and promises of life and salvation fuels me; those are things I cannot do or attain on my own. The heart to serve others fuels me. It comes from a Master who commands obedience, holiness because He is holy, from a Prince who came to SERVE NOT TO BE SERVED. I am fueled by love for a King who was born of flesh into a world of sin in order that He would die to save and make God (and his love for the world) known. I am fueled by God.
What fuels you?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Africa Update #7: What if maybe God...
So it has been something I’ve had on my mind for a few days (as have my other teammates): Plans for the next two weeks (the remainder of our stay in Ghana). We know we’ll be in Ghana (obviously) and we are attending a conference this next weekend, but that is really it (although some things have materialized in the past 8 hours since I originally wrote this note). There really are no plans set in stone and most of us are wondering why we are still here, myself included (we could have originally left on July 31st but chose to stay until August 15th thinking there were plans made for us already). Some days I am okay with being here even though I have no idea what we are doing. Other days I am the complete opposite and homesick and wondering why I am here. Some days I am the typical American thinking that it COST me so much money to come so why not stay two extra weeks with people I may possibly never see again but then I might start treating it as if it were a vacation which we were told not to do and then I feel somewhat convicted for doing this because I am here to do God’s work, not just to relax and be in Africa because apparently missions trips can’t be fun……. Pfffft right. It is great and I’m blessed to be here and it is more fun than I can explain!!!
Then I started thinking as I do way too often. What if God wants me here for some other reason? What if God wants me here, not just to do his work for others, but what if me being here with “nothing to do” is for him to do his work in me? I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that I‘m not still here just by chance but that God really wants me here even if I don’t know why. Proverbs 16:4 says “The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” God makes things happen for his purpose, even if our future holds no apparent plans or we don’t know what will happen and we are questioning why we are still here. I know I miss my friends and family and to me, if there are no plans and we are “wasting our time” being here, God must truly know why we are still here. Proverbs 16 verses 1-3 and verse 9 talk about how we plan our ways or how we think something would be a better idea, such as going home now instead of staying two more weeks just because we don’t seem to have any set plans. But what if God has a plan for me being here two more weeks?
When you are homesick for familiarity it is difficult to trust this, at least for me anyways (this is when my mind goes off on its own). I have said my support system (the main one outside of my family of course) is in Manhattan Kansas. I will confess this is part, if not most, of the reason I am staying there at least another year. There are other things keeping me there as well of course and I feel like it is where God wants me to be. I lean on my support system. I grow through them. Throughout this trip I’ve had to learn to survive without my outlets in those people, or even my iPod or guitar for that matter. So back to my point (sorry if this is completely obvious to some of you). Maybe God wants me here these next two weeks to work on ME, so that I realize MY need for him in MY life and not necessarily other peoples’ need for him in THEIR lives. Maybe God wants me here the next two weeks to keep me focused on him. Maybe he wants to use this to refine my heart, mind, body, soul, and attitude to what he wants it to be so that when I return back to Manhattan I don’t fall back to the outlets that I have in my support system of friends.
It is difficult being here not knowing what lies ahead. It is difficult being over 6000 miles away from the people I love, from a struggling friend, from the comfort of my own home, from my family, from the hugs and smiles so familiar to me. Maybe God is showing me that really all I need is him; that when all of the familiar is gone or unavailable he remains the same. Maybe God is showing me that I can survive without my support system, whether that be 6000 miles or 6 blocks away. The friends I have now may not always be around right? Maybe that is why God has me here for two more weeks. Maybe now I will stop guessing as to why God has me here. Maybe now I will stop complaining about being here and when I’m homesick, being stared at by every person in every car that passes (maybe this is God breaking my want for attention?), eating things I don’t particularly like, and everything is creepily unfamiliar, maybe I will remember God IS here, that he is with me wherever I go like he says in Joshua 1:9. God is to be my comfort and maybe it took a month of being over 6000 miles outside of my comfort zone in a ridiculously unfamiliar place for me to realize all I just said (which is kind of sad if that is the truth now that I think about it).
So now the next two weeks I HAVE to wait on God, whether I like it or not. I don’t know what I’m doing here other than God wants me here, regardless of how I feel about being here. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Right now, as frustrating as it may be to me, God will use the next two weeks, maybe not necessarily use us in other peoples’ lives the way we think he will (going out to villages and directly talking to people), but maybe God is using this for us in our own lives, even if we are bored with his way. Maybe he wants us to just spend time with the people who have taken care of us the past three weeks and maybe he is teaching us to rely on him and look for his provision in everything we do, not just the things we had originally planned to do for him. Pray that we keep a positive attitude the next two weeks and lean on Christ right now since we don’t know what will be happening in the near future. I have faith that God will provide, even if it isn’t the way we plan for him to provide. He always works it out for the better if we trust him. Sorry if I don’t make much sense sometimes and if it seems like I’m a rambling mad woman. I promise I have not been brain-washed or gone crazy in Ghana…… the people here are far too nice to do anything of the sort and I will very much miss them when the next two weeks are over. Thanks for putting up with my lengthy notes!!!! I love you all and thank you very much for all of your prayer and support!!!
Maybe God has us here, not to impact others, but so that HE can impact US.
In Christ,
Sharina Marie Schaller
Africa Update #6: Rambling thoughts on wealth and privilege… and conviction
So I’m not sure if this just hit me or if today is the first day that I’ve gotten the chance to really just sit and think about it, but I have definitely been convicted of some things since being in Africa. Thus far Africa has been what I have expected it to be but at the same time it has been far from any expectations, if that makes sense. Things I have expected: the villages with poor people, the beautiful children crowding around the camera in the villages, the smiles and hugs and holding hands with the Ghanaians (big and small mind you) everywhere; a struggle for some (what we would consider a struggle for us but is actually everyday life for them), Jesus and hearts for him, and my homesickness. The things I didn’t so much expect: 25% of Ghana’s population living in Accra and causing the traffic to be the way it is (I get motion sickness pretty much every time I get in a vehicle here I think), Jesus being everywhere (I know he is everywhere but everywhere I go I have been shown a heart for him), and feeling spoiled.
I never expected to feel somewhat spoiled while I’m in Africa but sitting here thinking about it, I am BLESSED. Not just in the sense of living on campus in a house with cement walls, windows, and ceiling fans, but I’m very much blessed in the setting and family God has placed me with in Africa. I feel the need to tell you more about my lovely family here in Ghana. We live with Dr. Joseph Kwasi Nimako-Boateng and his awesome wife Akua. They have a beautiful two year old son named Nana and he could quite possibly be the smartest child I have ever been around (I mean really, what two year old knows how to PROPERLY run a DVD player and TV by himself? The patience may not be there, but the knowledge of “how to” is). This family is amazing and they have made Briana (my roommate from Cincinnati) and me feel welcome here from day one. Kwasi is a dentist and he disciples many of the young men around us. We seem to gain (or just meet) a different brother every night. They have an open house for my brothers in Christ. Not only have they given for Briana and me (and I’m sure sacrificed more than we most likely know), I’ve watched them provide a house for others, a place of discussion for others, and food for these young men, all the while keeping a heart for Christ. And as I sit here thinking, this hasn’t just happened to me here but the giving has also happened in the villages.
These giving hearts surround me, it seems, some through knowing Christ, others without knowing Christ. Example one: the villages. No matter where we went, generally we always had a placed to sit, a warm smile, and a welcoming handshake to greet us. People were willing to share their lives with us so that we would pray with them, but I never heard any of them ask for more than prayer for blessings from God (either they didn’t say it or the translators forgot to translate that part for us). Whether they expected more from us, I don’t know, but they never asked for more than prayer when we were sitting there talking to them. It was humbling….. and still is. It is also difficult to explain or put these feelings and emotions into words.
Example two: this house. I really do feel kind of spoiled which sometimes causes me to feel guilty for feeling this tremendously blessed. This family has catered to my every need, especially the “watching what I eat because I am diabetic” need (Kwasi’s father is also diabetic so that helps. To make the stay more comfortable for the both of us I’ve had to force myself into the habit of testing my blood sugar two times a day… it also helps me talk Kwasi into letting me have ice cream every now and then… lol). They have served us in every way possible: shelter, food, running water, and the love in their hearts for Christ. I feel that I am learning from them, I can only hope they are learning from me as well.
We were discussing school and bills one night with them. I’d have to agree with Kwasi that paying bills while going through school is not fair. It isn’t done here. This shows the difference in this way of life. School is a privilege. Here in Ghana you DO NOT work while you are in school, nor do you pay bills for that matter. When you are finished you do what is called your “National Service” for a year, in which you work for the government. After that year, then you find a job. Cars are luxuries here. Yes the traffic is CRAZY and it would seem that everybody and their dog had a car here, but not everybody does. Some people would KILL to have the luxury of a car. One of my teammates couldn’t believe that we would own more than one car per family (I happened to fail to mention how many car my family owns if you include the vehicles of my siblings and me). Air conditioning is a luxury we take for granted a lot of times. Before I left home, the AC in my house didn’t work. Here, some people can’t even grasp the concept of air conditioning but it isn’t because they are dumb or ignorant; it is just because they have never been privileged enough to have it (kind of like the Americans when we found out that ice cream came in individually wrapped little bags here). Ice cubes… I miss them. Some people don’t know about refrigerators with ice cube makers and dispensers in the door.
Food: I cannot say that I am underfed. In all actuality, I wouldn’t be surprised if I gain a few pounds while I’m here. However, we are spoiled in the U.S. Not just the amount that we are allowed to eat, whenever we want to eat it, but also that we can afford to eat out and have such a variety of foods available to us. Akua and I were discussing food one afternoon. We were discussing how many carbs Ghanaians eat every single meal and how many vegetables they don’t eat. Just another point of me being blessed: she went to the market and bought us green beans, carrots, and corn on the cob so that I could have the vegetables I needed in my diet.
One thing I’ve gotten fairly good at: not complaining about food. I will admit, some things I had to pray my way through (fufu being the main one and the first week here when we ate a lot of fish… at least I can say I’ve deboned a fish now). There are some things I couldn’t eat due to the sugar and carb amounts in the food (not always a bad thing). At first I did complain about a lot of things. I complained until I saw firsthand the starving children in Africa who don’t get at least one home cooked meal a day. I saw them gather by the door and the window and watch my team and me eat things that we complained about eating, didn’t want to eat, or didn’t eat at all; not because we COULDN’T eat them but because we just didn’t want to. I think of when I was little (or I just think of my youngest brother). Mom would have to practically SHOVE some foods down our throats at the end of our meal, threatening that we wouldn’t get dessert and we needed to finish because “there are poor starving children in Africa”. Yes my dear friends, it is true; there are starving children here.
I was asked how I could eat some of the things we have eaten and I say that I pray my way through it. I’m not ashamed to say it. I pray and God puts a picture of those children in my head and then I forget about complaining and I eat because I’m thankful I’m being fed. I think of when I first got here how I’d actually pick certain things out of my food and not eat them just because I didn’t want to eat them. Now I think about how that not only might look to the person who cooked the meal, but also about how selfish I’m being… and then the children. After one of the meals in the village I was standing outside when we handed over the plates that weren’t emptied to the children. It was like a mob and it was gut wrenching. After another meal, a little girl and her friend were standing by the door (the little girl many of you have seen in my profile picture on facebook……. The really ridiculously cute one that I love even more after this instance and this is where she really melted my very heart and soul). Auntie invited her onto the “porch” so that other children wouldn’t mob her when we gave her food and steal it from her. Then Auntie gave her the plate. The thing that happened next breaks my heart in a magnificent way. The little girl would NOT eat the food until she found her younger friend with whom she would share the meal with. This little girl waited until we let her friend in by her to sit and share in this meal that was leftover from one of us who complained about it and didn’t eat want to eat it (I know this because it was my meal).
That picture hits me every time I sit to eat and it is something that I may not want to have. A selfless little child sharing her food with her friend, which is all it takes. How selfish are we? How much influence does our wealth and privilege have on us and our selfishness? I am convicted of my selfishness as I sit here and write this. We have had so many conversations of the first place I’m going to eat when I get back (Jimmy Johns) or the first meal I want mom to make when I return home (roast beef, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob with chocolate angel food and chocolate pudding for dessert). Another question: how WASTEFUL are we? Not just in our food and our meals, but what about waste in money and time?
Money and clothes have been yet another conviction of mine. I feel guilty for the fact that I bought a ton of clothes before coming here, specifically for this trip mind you. I went home to clean out my closet so I could bring clothes to give away. I brought only four shirts of my own… only four shirts I originally intended to give away. Money went towards clothes that I didn’t need. I don’t tithe (I very well might start after this). Right now, if I knew a way to get the money (from the tithe I MIGHT start doing) to the poor starving children without it falling into the hands of somebody who would misuse it and not get it to the poor starving children, I would do it. But right now, what is my main focus? Me!! My thought process is focused on the fact that I can’t afford to pay rent or bills next month without closing my savings account and then I would still be overdrawn. Then I am convicted, not just because I am looking at people who can’t afford to HAVE bills to be paid and who have no money and rely on us to do spring cleaning in our closets so that they MIGHT get a new used shirt and pair of shorts, but because I’m rich compared to them, wasting my money on unnecessaries. The biggest thing though, I’m worrying and not trusting God, nor am I giving back to him what is rightfully his.
I just finished reading the book “Blue like Jazz” and there is a small section in the book where Miller discusses tithing. It hit me and has been nagging at my heart since I’ve read it. God is the one who blesses us with means to live and with wealth and privilege. Shouldn’t we give to him what is rightfully his? Shouldn’t we learn how to BE rich instead of how to GET rich? To these people, we are already rich whether we believe it or not and are struggling with bills and paying rent. I have a college education, a car, the ability to pay rent and a phone bill even if it doesn’t always seem possible. God always provides. I also get to pick and choose what I want to make to eat everyday and if I’m too lazy I can pay to have somebody else make it for me. There is this awesome series called “How to Be Rich” that is done by Craig Groeschel, pastor of Lifechurch.tv. He does a great job of explaining how to BE rich, not how to get rich. I think I might just watch that as soon as I get home and hopefully this time I’ll have a different perspective other than “I don’t have money so God can’t expect me to tithe”. I have a paycheck which is more than want a lot of people here have.
Sorry for this long note of what most of you may consider nonsense. I just felt the need to share my rambling wandering thoughts with you!! If you read this far, please pray for these things, not just in my own life but in yours as well. Thanks friends and I love you and miss you!!!
In Christ,
Sharina Marie Schaller
I never expected to feel somewhat spoiled while I’m in Africa but sitting here thinking about it, I am BLESSED. Not just in the sense of living on campus in a house with cement walls, windows, and ceiling fans, but I’m very much blessed in the setting and family God has placed me with in Africa. I feel the need to tell you more about my lovely family here in Ghana. We live with Dr. Joseph Kwasi Nimako-Boateng and his awesome wife Akua. They have a beautiful two year old son named Nana and he could quite possibly be the smartest child I have ever been around (I mean really, what two year old knows how to PROPERLY run a DVD player and TV by himself? The patience may not be there, but the knowledge of “how to” is). This family is amazing and they have made Briana (my roommate from Cincinnati) and me feel welcome here from day one. Kwasi is a dentist and he disciples many of the young men around us. We seem to gain (or just meet) a different brother every night. They have an open house for my brothers in Christ. Not only have they given for Briana and me (and I’m sure sacrificed more than we most likely know), I’ve watched them provide a house for others, a place of discussion for others, and food for these young men, all the while keeping a heart for Christ. And as I sit here thinking, this hasn’t just happened to me here but the giving has also happened in the villages.
These giving hearts surround me, it seems, some through knowing Christ, others without knowing Christ. Example one: the villages. No matter where we went, generally we always had a placed to sit, a warm smile, and a welcoming handshake to greet us. People were willing to share their lives with us so that we would pray with them, but I never heard any of them ask for more than prayer for blessings from God (either they didn’t say it or the translators forgot to translate that part for us). Whether they expected more from us, I don’t know, but they never asked for more than prayer when we were sitting there talking to them. It was humbling….. and still is. It is also difficult to explain or put these feelings and emotions into words.
Example two: this house. I really do feel kind of spoiled which sometimes causes me to feel guilty for feeling this tremendously blessed. This family has catered to my every need, especially the “watching what I eat because I am diabetic” need (Kwasi’s father is also diabetic so that helps. To make the stay more comfortable for the both of us I’ve had to force myself into the habit of testing my blood sugar two times a day… it also helps me talk Kwasi into letting me have ice cream every now and then… lol). They have served us in every way possible: shelter, food, running water, and the love in their hearts for Christ. I feel that I am learning from them, I can only hope they are learning from me as well.
We were discussing school and bills one night with them. I’d have to agree with Kwasi that paying bills while going through school is not fair. It isn’t done here. This shows the difference in this way of life. School is a privilege. Here in Ghana you DO NOT work while you are in school, nor do you pay bills for that matter. When you are finished you do what is called your “National Service” for a year, in which you work for the government. After that year, then you find a job. Cars are luxuries here. Yes the traffic is CRAZY and it would seem that everybody and their dog had a car here, but not everybody does. Some people would KILL to have the luxury of a car. One of my teammates couldn’t believe that we would own more than one car per family (I happened to fail to mention how many car my family owns if you include the vehicles of my siblings and me). Air conditioning is a luxury we take for granted a lot of times. Before I left home, the AC in my house didn’t work. Here, some people can’t even grasp the concept of air conditioning but it isn’t because they are dumb or ignorant; it is just because they have never been privileged enough to have it (kind of like the Americans when we found out that ice cream came in individually wrapped little bags here). Ice cubes… I miss them. Some people don’t know about refrigerators with ice cube makers and dispensers in the door.
Food: I cannot say that I am underfed. In all actuality, I wouldn’t be surprised if I gain a few pounds while I’m here. However, we are spoiled in the U.S. Not just the amount that we are allowed to eat, whenever we want to eat it, but also that we can afford to eat out and have such a variety of foods available to us. Akua and I were discussing food one afternoon. We were discussing how many carbs Ghanaians eat every single meal and how many vegetables they don’t eat. Just another point of me being blessed: she went to the market and bought us green beans, carrots, and corn on the cob so that I could have the vegetables I needed in my diet.
One thing I’ve gotten fairly good at: not complaining about food. I will admit, some things I had to pray my way through (fufu being the main one and the first week here when we ate a lot of fish… at least I can say I’ve deboned a fish now). There are some things I couldn’t eat due to the sugar and carb amounts in the food (not always a bad thing). At first I did complain about a lot of things. I complained until I saw firsthand the starving children in Africa who don’t get at least one home cooked meal a day. I saw them gather by the door and the window and watch my team and me eat things that we complained about eating, didn’t want to eat, or didn’t eat at all; not because we COULDN’T eat them but because we just didn’t want to. I think of when I was little (or I just think of my youngest brother). Mom would have to practically SHOVE some foods down our throats at the end of our meal, threatening that we wouldn’t get dessert and we needed to finish because “there are poor starving children in Africa”. Yes my dear friends, it is true; there are starving children here.
I was asked how I could eat some of the things we have eaten and I say that I pray my way through it. I’m not ashamed to say it. I pray and God puts a picture of those children in my head and then I forget about complaining and I eat because I’m thankful I’m being fed. I think of when I first got here how I’d actually pick certain things out of my food and not eat them just because I didn’t want to eat them. Now I think about how that not only might look to the person who cooked the meal, but also about how selfish I’m being… and then the children. After one of the meals in the village I was standing outside when we handed over the plates that weren’t emptied to the children. It was like a mob and it was gut wrenching. After another meal, a little girl and her friend were standing by the door (the little girl many of you have seen in my profile picture on facebook……. The really ridiculously cute one that I love even more after this instance and this is where she really melted my very heart and soul). Auntie invited her onto the “porch” so that other children wouldn’t mob her when we gave her food and steal it from her. Then Auntie gave her the plate. The thing that happened next breaks my heart in a magnificent way. The little girl would NOT eat the food until she found her younger friend with whom she would share the meal with. This little girl waited until we let her friend in by her to sit and share in this meal that was leftover from one of us who complained about it and didn’t eat want to eat it (I know this because it was my meal).
That picture hits me every time I sit to eat and it is something that I may not want to have. A selfless little child sharing her food with her friend, which is all it takes. How selfish are we? How much influence does our wealth and privilege have on us and our selfishness? I am convicted of my selfishness as I sit here and write this. We have had so many conversations of the first place I’m going to eat when I get back (Jimmy Johns) or the first meal I want mom to make when I return home (roast beef, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob with chocolate angel food and chocolate pudding for dessert). Another question: how WASTEFUL are we? Not just in our food and our meals, but what about waste in money and time?
Money and clothes have been yet another conviction of mine. I feel guilty for the fact that I bought a ton of clothes before coming here, specifically for this trip mind you. I went home to clean out my closet so I could bring clothes to give away. I brought only four shirts of my own… only four shirts I originally intended to give away. Money went towards clothes that I didn’t need. I don’t tithe (I very well might start after this). Right now, if I knew a way to get the money (from the tithe I MIGHT start doing) to the poor starving children without it falling into the hands of somebody who would misuse it and not get it to the poor starving children, I would do it. But right now, what is my main focus? Me!! My thought process is focused on the fact that I can’t afford to pay rent or bills next month without closing my savings account and then I would still be overdrawn. Then I am convicted, not just because I am looking at people who can’t afford to HAVE bills to be paid and who have no money and rely on us to do spring cleaning in our closets so that they MIGHT get a new used shirt and pair of shorts, but because I’m rich compared to them, wasting my money on unnecessaries. The biggest thing though, I’m worrying and not trusting God, nor am I giving back to him what is rightfully his.
I just finished reading the book “Blue like Jazz” and there is a small section in the book where Miller discusses tithing. It hit me and has been nagging at my heart since I’ve read it. God is the one who blesses us with means to live and with wealth and privilege. Shouldn’t we give to him what is rightfully his? Shouldn’t we learn how to BE rich instead of how to GET rich? To these people, we are already rich whether we believe it or not and are struggling with bills and paying rent. I have a college education, a car, the ability to pay rent and a phone bill even if it doesn’t always seem possible. God always provides. I also get to pick and choose what I want to make to eat everyday and if I’m too lazy I can pay to have somebody else make it for me. There is this awesome series called “How to Be Rich” that is done by Craig Groeschel, pastor of Lifechurch.tv. He does a great job of explaining how to BE rich, not how to get rich. I think I might just watch that as soon as I get home and hopefully this time I’ll have a different perspective other than “I don’t have money so God can’t expect me to tithe”. I have a paycheck which is more than want a lot of people here have.
Sorry for this long note of what most of you may consider nonsense. I just felt the need to share my rambling wandering thoughts with you!! If you read this far, please pray for these things, not just in my own life but in yours as well. Thanks friends and I love you and miss you!!!
In Christ,
Sharina Marie Schaller
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